bonitabreezy:

literally no one wants an ant-man movie

Just to add I didn’t want Thor or Captain America ones either.

(Reblogged from geekykristie)

The strangest thing that’s happened to me in comedy this year, you ask?

Okay.  So.

I don’t see my old friends anywhere near often enough.  When I’m not gigging, it’s nice to spend the night at home, catching up on telly and marriage.  But every once in a while, my old translator friends and I will arrange to meet up.  We’re all stupidly busy, with schedules that clash badly.  But eventually, we find a day.

We make the most of it when we get together.  We start early, and we target the cheapest booze emporia Swansea has to offer.

The last time this happened was in March this year.  We got pretty drunk on Wind Street (a rat king of pubs and clubs), and then my friend Cnob (that’s a nickname he has, as a sub-character class of his is “lad”) suggested going to an evening of Welsh-language folk music up in Welsh language venue Ty Tawe.

That sounded delightful because:

  1. Our booze money would be going to support Welsh-language events;
  2. Booze at Welsh-language events is cheap.

Off we trotted, and sozzled we gotted.  Accompanied all the while by a live folk band, fiddling away like in That Scene in Titanic. 

We’d been there for a few hours, and my vision was somewhere between “vaseline on camera lens” and “Perfect Dark tranquiliser”.

A member of the folk group approached me.  He recognised me from telly.  He said that in one of these folk evenings, the comedian Noel James had been in the audience, and he’d done five minutes of comedy as part of the evening.  Would I perhaps be willing to do the same?

Here’s a quick guide to whether I’ll perform comedy depending on drunk levels:

Level 0: Not Drunk

Of course!  Performing comedy is my fave.

Level 1: A Bit Tipsy

Probably shouldn’t, but why not?  It won’t be the best gig, but it’ll be a laugh.

Level 2: Actually Drunk

No way.  No no no.  It will be terrible.  The very worst thing.

Level 3: Plastered

Tht shounds lik a verrrry gud idea yes ys.

I did my five minutes.  And … it went well, and I have no idea how.  Either way, the band member said they’d be doing another show in Swansea at some point down the line, and would I like to MC it?  ”Of course,” I said, and forgot everything about it until last month, when I got an e-mail to confirm.

And this is why, two days before I perform at Josie Long’s gig in London, I will be MCing a night featuring my other comedy hero, Caryl Parry Jones.

stalungrad:

I’m watching Pokémon. I can’t express how much I hate Bianca’s father. Spiteful and controlling and an absolute product of patriarchy.

Okay, so this is how it goes down.

Bianca has booked an appointment to battle Elesa (who must first OF COURSE complete her fashion show).

Biandad turns up and says that, hey, remember when he told Bianca she could go travelling?  Welp, he’s changed his mind, there we go, come home now Bianca.

It doesn’t occur to him for one second that Bianca might protest.  To him, this is a minor decision.  

Bianca gets him to agree that if she can defeat Elesa, she’ll be allowed to travel.

Bianca does incredibly well against this tough gym leader, but fails to defeat her.  Afterwards, she’s not concerned about her own fate - she’s concerned about her Pokémon.  She needs to make sure Shelmet is okay, since it took a huge beating from Elesa’s Zebstrika.

And I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking, “even though she didn’t win, she’s proved to her father that she’s a fine trainer with a strong sense of responsibility, and will be allowed to continue her travels”.

WRONG.

His daughter failed the test, and must come home, fufufufu.

But then!  Ash steps up.  He challenges Biandad to a battle.  If he wins, Bianca will be allowed to continue her journey.

But what if Ash loses? asks Biandad.  Never one to miss out on a wager, he’s keen to pick his own reward.  Even though his reward would be that he gets to control his daughter against her will.

The reward he chooses is that Ash would have to return home to Pallet Town.  Just … why?!  What can he possibly gain?

This is a horrible controlling man who doesn’t want his daughter living her own life, and who’ll punish anyone who dares stand up for her.

(Reblogged from stalungrad)
Played 10,873 times

virginiachance:

Catherine Tate posits her problem with Shakespeare Chain Reaction

image

#if i could physically make love to this interview i would

(Actually pay attention to her timing here.  This is proper actual comedy.  Listen to her conduct the laughter from the audience.)

(Source: dykawitz)

(Reblogged from whybedennydifferent)

Matty:

Not a TV show, but my girlfriend reads a series of books about a girl who belongs to a family of lycanthropes that we only ever refer to as ‘The Little Weremaid’.

AMAZING.

The other night, Richard and I were talking about pet names for TV shows.  We both understood the phenomenon, but really struggled to come up with examples.  The Brutal Tearooms refer to MLP as “Ponies”.  Elanor and I have adopted “Baking Bad” as our name for The Great British Bake-Off.

So!  Multiplayers Assemble.  What are your pet names for TV shows?

I’m watching Pokémon. I can’t express how much I hate Bianca’s father. Spiteful and controlling and an absolute product of patriarchy.

tamrynroxanne:

I forgot what episode of the vampire diaries I was on so I’m now just starting from the beginning why not

AMAZING. I’m watching it for the first time. Nearly finished the first season.

(Reblogged from tamrynroxanne)

1.05 Do Before You Think

confettihipster:

meownarchy:

dynastylnoire:

loveisrespect:

This is really important info from a really great resource! Remember: No one ever deserves to be harassed, exploited, or emotionally abused. Everyone deserves to have their privacy and their body respected—whether they’re a current partner or an ex.

Check out endrevengeporn.org to learn about ways to get explicit images taken down, how to get involved in your area, or how to seek legal assistance. Or for more info about digital abuse and online harassment, check out loveisrespect.org.

90 percent of the victims are women

This is really important. When I was in high school, there was a girl in my grade who was known to be a bit promiscuous. She was constantly harassed and ostracized for it. In our junior year, she was talking to this guy and she decided to send pictures of herself to him. Before the end of the week, the pictures were on everyone’s phones. It was a trend basically. For weeks, it was nothing but “Oh have you seen X’s picture’s yet? No? Here, let me show you.” It was pretty disgusting. I honestly still have a mental imprint of the image, it was that prominent. She was 17, and her pictures were being passed around like a souvenir because she trusted the wrong guy, because some punk ass high schooler tried to be edgy and “expose the school slut.” If you share someone else’s pictures without permission, you are trash. Though looking back, I really gotta admire how she handled the situation with amazing grace and attitude.

this happened to a girl in my year only it was a “sex tape”, I never saw it but apparently she wasn’t even conscious

and her dad was the lollipop man down the road and all everyone was concerned about was that they kept showing the poor man this video and how embarrassed he must have been to have “such a slut for a daughter” while they walked past playing this video where his daughter was gang raped  

people are awful

(Reblogged from confettihipster)