It was the year 2772, the fourth year of the Soil Wars, and Dr Who was building a special machine.

"Are you going to talk to me?" asked Peri, Dr Who’s friend.

"Busy," muttered Dr Who.

"You talk and talk and talk. But not now. Not now, when I -"

Peri was feeling sad and angry at the same time. She hated Dr Who, she hated the Soil Wars, and she hated the special machine.

Except, of course, that she didn’t hate Dr Who at all. He was the most wonderful man, ridiculous and silly and ever so arrogant, but also kind and good and probably quite caring in his own funny sort of way.

"I’m not going to ask you to bring him back," said Peri.

Dr Who coughed.

"If you could, you’d already have done it."

Peri’s face was stinging because of the air poison and also because of maybe tears.

"Wouldn’t you?"

Dr Who didn’t answer, and Peri turned away.

She walked back into Dr Who’s time machine. She went into her bedroom - which was cold and white and smelled like oil - and tried reading her book, which was about an orphan girl who joined the circus.

Outside, Dr Who finished his special machine and saved the world.

It didn’t make him feel happy.

Dr Who hated not feeling happy.


I am walking home after a gig. I walk down a street. Outside one house is a police car full of barking dogs, some police officers talking to a human man, big plastic bags full of objects, and a police van in which I see a police officer lock a crying human woman.

The two distressed humans cause me to have a big long think about how two humans could end up in this situation.

Time was, that internal monologue of mine would’ve started with, “they must have done something wrong”.

But I am an adult. My internal monologue instead ended with, “maybe they did something wrong”.


One of my favourite shows:


One of my least favourite shows:


Do you see my problem

(Reblogged from gallifreyanconsultingdetective)


One of the worst feelings has got to be when you’re prepared for Under Pressure and Ice Ice Baby comes on instead

Strike that.

Reverse it.

(Reblogged from whybedennydifferent)

aniceworld said:

i found biannca’s desperation eerie

Was it really desperation?  I read it as a performance designed for the first week.

What was interesting about Winston rejecting her was that, as well as ruining the strategy, it also seemed to genuinely upset her.  There really was a vulnerable human being there, closer to the surface than we might have expected.

and she’d more or less played out her shtick within four days.

I agree with that.  But I bet I’d love the Biannca that replaced her.

plus i was hopeful that pav would agitate against steven, which seems laughably naive in retrospect.

Zoe wasn’t going to let him evict Steven.  He clearly wanted to.

While I’m sad Biannca went, I actually didn’t want any of the new lot to go.  I’m really glad we’ve still got Zoe and Pav.  And I’m sure we’ll get lots of juicy Pav vs Steven action.

sonnetscrewdriver said: If IDW or Dynamite Press or any of that lot hired you to write comics based on any dormant Intellectual Property of your choosing, what would said choosing be and why?


I absolutely love Animorphs.  Full to the brim with concepts and ideas, most of them hugely underexplored.  They released a book each month for something like five years, most of them ghostwritten.  So many treasures thrown in and forgotten.

But it’s also a story that’s designed to move forward.  The first book introduces a really clear status quo - these five human teenagers fight secret aliens - so it’s a shock when book 4 throws in a new main character, shapeshifting alien Ax.  Book 7 gives us the nearly omnipotent Ellimist, book 13 is a huge change for Tobias, and so on and so forth.

It’s the perfect blend of pulp and serial.  Big plot twists are planned in advance, but the series messes around a lot without worrying about the big structural set pieces until they get there.

The final ten books all bleed into each other, changing the story from Spider-Man style secret superheroes living normal lives to a full-on revolution.

The series as it exists is perfect.  I don’t need more books.  But Animorphs comics?  Yep, do want.


Thank you so much. Bianca sounds like she really made the house fun!

I should probably warn you that that post is massively subjective and that most people didn’t like her at all.

I haven’t liked Steven since about week 2,

Very generous of you to make it that far.

I’m not sure if he even realises how bad he is coming across

Oh, he really doesn’t have any idea.

Steven’s plan was to pretend to be horrible when he entered, and then to slowly drop the act and become himself.

The idea being that Steven-C (i.e. the character portrayed by the human being Steven-H) is a horrible businessman who learns a Scroogey lesson and becomes nice.

The mistake Steven-H has made is that the real Steven is also horrible.  He can’t work it out.  He said on Thursday that he couldn’t understand why he was getting booed.  He thinks it’s because the horrible businessman act was too effective.

Although if he wasn’t in there we probably wouldn’t see anything of Kim.

Nah, there’d be plenty of Kim - we saw plenty of her before she and Steven were together.  She’d be there, frowning and rolling her eyes and generally being terrific.

Although whether she could recover from the appalling treatment she’s had in there is another thing.

I’ve seen a lot of complaints about Stevens behaviour so I wonder if big brother will eventually kick him out, I don’t think he could deal with that.

That would be wonderful, but probably too much to hope.  The complaints about Steven seem to be limited to Tumblr and corners of Twitter.  The Bit On The Side lot seem to think it’s all just larks.

From the episodes I’ve watched of bit on the side they’ve been itching to show the house what Danielle is really like, no surprise she played innocent though.

I don’t think that Danielle is too far from the truth, really.  I think she really is judgemental, and really does think sex is shameful.  All she’s hiding is her level of experience and knowledge, I reckon.

This has sounded like the best week this season, especially having Danielle to face Dexter. I hope big brother keep this up for the rest of the season.

I’d love to know what you make of it once you’ve seen it - please do let me know.  Because … it’s a pretty good week, but not as massive as it sounds when you hear “three new housemates, three evictions, lots of secrets and nudity”.

It feels like what it is - a week designed to stop the show becoming completely boring.  But unlike 2012’s The White Room, it didn’t totally transform the show into something new.

I’m doing a short set at the Harbourside Festival in Bristol tomorrow.  There’s a comedy show between 3pm and 6pm.  I’ll be the last act on, I think, so if you’re around from around 5.30ish, why not pop by?

Althought really, come sooner and see lots of my lovely friends and rivals too.  There’s hardly anyone I hate on the lineup.


Look I was trying to sell it on bonkers-ness but seriously, watch it [again].

I’ll be honest, it’s not going to be a priority.  It doesn’t even have Christina Ricci in.

(Source: d-generation-deth)

(Reblogged from bright-coat-and-bravado)